Posts tagged relationships
Summer Sessions EP. 02 - "The Math ain't Mathin"

Scott Damien and Pavy are back with a new episode of Summer Sessions! This week the guys discuss Antonio Brown's wild week, the pros & cons of dealing with old work, legendary NBA teams & much more!

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Throw your diamonds up for more than a decade of heat with the new TIDAL-exclusive Roc La Familia playlist from The Barber's Chair! The greatest hits from the most prolific label in hip hop history.
Listen here:

As Justin Bieber readies to drop much anticipated new music, enjoy this Barber's Chair playlist of the best hits in Bieberveli's arsenal! 
Apple Music:

Listen to the new bangers playlist on Spotify, Tidal, and Apple Music!
Apple Music:

WrestleMania might be over but you can still rep Becky Two Belts with the brand new #FreeTheMan tees up now on the Barber's Chair Net merch shop

Paverbs Explained EP. 3

Pavy brings his homegirl Eva on to discuss honesty in a relationship, the most annoying thing about the opposite sex, love, sex & everything in between.

As Justin Bieber readies to drop much anticipated new music, enjoy this Barber's Chair playlist of the best hits in Bieberveli's arsenal! 
Apple Music:

Throw your diamonds up for more than a decade of heat with the new TIDAL-exclusive Roc La Familia playlist from The Barber's Chair! The greatest hits from the most prolific label in hip hop history.
Listen here:

Listen to the new bangers playlist on Spotify, Tidal, and Apple Music!
Apple Music:

WrestleMania might be over but you can still rep Becky Two Belts with the brand new #FreeTheMan tees up now on the Barber's Chair Net merch shop

Paverbs Explained Ep.2 - The Power Of Communciation

On the second episode of Paverbs Explained, Pavy breaks down the power of communication & why you should always seek to openly communicate with those around you.

As Justin Bieber readies to drop much anticipated new music, enjoy this Barber's Chair playlist of the best hits in Bieberveli's arsenal! 
Apple Music:

Throw your diamonds up for more than a decade of heat with the new TIDAL-exclusive Roc La Familia playlist from The Barber's Chair! The greatest hits from the most prolific label in hip hop history.
Listen here:

Listen to the new bangers playlist on Spotify, Tidal, and Apple Music!
Apple Music:

WrestleMania might be over but you can still rep Becky Two Belts with the brand new #FreeTheMan tees up now on the Barber's Chair Net merch shop

Paverbs Explained Ep. 1

On this episode of Paverbs Explained, Pavy breaks down what the hardest part about love is for him & why. Follow him at @Pavyworld as well as @PavysDailyTakes.

As Justin Bieber readies to drop much anticipated new music, enjoy this Barber's Chair playlist of the best hits in Bieberveli's arsenal! 
Apple Music:

Throw your diamonds up for more than a decade of heat with the new TIDAL-exclusive Roc La Familia playlist from The Barber's Chair! The greatest hits from the most prolific label in hip hop history.
Listen here:

Listen to the new bangers playlist on Spotify, Tidal, and Apple Music!
Apple Music:

WrestleMania might be over but you can still rep Becky Two Belts with the brand new #FreeTheMan tees up now on the Barber's Chair Net merch shop

Random Acts of Podcast EP 202 - Real Spooky Hours

On this week’s episode of RAOP, Amp and Devin bring on the homie @RyRyDaDeala to chop it up about the smelly Jacksonville Jaguars, white people in black face on Halloween, old "work" trying to get back into your life and a ton more other topics.

Also we answer questions from the listeners. Remember to send in your listener questions to email us at or call 424-260-RAOP to leave a voicemail

Random Acts of Podcast EP 192

On this week's episode of RAOP, Amp & Devin bring back @__QNSx & @KingWilcox912 and chop it up about insecurities in relationships, tell stories of us getting whooped as kids, Kawhi being traded to the Raptors and a ton more other topics.

Also we answer voicemails from the listeners. Remember to send in your listener questions, #TheyNeedTheirAssBeat or #RealNiggaOfTheWeek submissions, email us at or call 424-260-RAOP to leave a voicemail.

Follow Amp: @Ampaveli
Follow Devin: @DevinDavinci

Knowing when it’s time to cut someone off

Have you ever felt like your friend was more of a frenemy, or is your relationship becoming more draining than refreshing?

Well when things aren’t adding up, it may be time to start subtracting those things out of your life. Not everyone in your life is meant to be around for the long run. Some are seasonal, and there was probably a lesson that needed to be learned from them in order for you to grow.

Here’s the dilemma, knowing when it is time to call it quits with someone. The following are signs that it’s time to snip snip away.

You’re starting to notice a lack of respect.

A key component to being in a healthy friendship or relationship is having respect for each other. If you are seeing that a person you are friends with is doing offensive things, such as speaking badly on you, making slick remarks towards you, especially in front of others, this person does not value you. Someone that blatantly disrespects you is a clear sign it’s time to void the relationship you have with them.

They don’t support your endeavors.

Whether you have a business that you’re starting or you’re working on achieving a personal goal, for instance, getting in shape, it always feels good to know that you have supportive people around you. If a friend downplays anything that you are working on, that person does not want to see you succeed. It could be jealousy or envy, either way, having non-supportive people in your life can deter you from accomplishing your goals. Good relationships consist of people that want to see you grow and prosper.

Receiving Negative Vibes and Toxic Energy

Positive vibes and energy are necessary in your circle of relationships. People naturally vibe off of the energy surrounding them. The more negative people in your life, the more likely you are to start being a toxic person. This will begin to affect your actions and how you perceive different situations. Whenever you notice that a friend is constantly being a Negative Nancy or has a complaint on just about everything, you may need to distance yourself from them before you’re pulled into it. Don’t let someone get your chakras off balance.

Lying is becoming second hand nature for them

Truth hurts, but lies kill. A friend that has deceived you multiple times is not going to stop. This person is also not a real friend to you. With lies, comes the inability to trust. You’re probably always questioning if what they are saying to you is made up or omitting details. Not being able to have clarity on what someone is telling you is draining and inconsiderate. Your relationships should have honesty in the foundation of them.

You’ve Outgrown Them

Do not feel bad about outgrowing people. When you are reaching new levels in your life, you realize how much further you have to go, and you also start to see the ambition others possess. Not everyone is suited to be along for the ride throughout your entire journey in life.This doesn’t mean drop all of your friends that haven’t reached the same level as you. This is more about the friends that want to pull you back down. It can be hard watching a friend not wanting more for his or herself, but they will have to take that step to go the extra mile when they are ready. You should encourage them, however, you should not put yourself on hold or allow the problems they may be facing to be a dump on your own happiness. This may be a sign to care from afar.

Begin to analyze the relationships around you and pay attention to any of the above signs that could be signaling you it’s time to remove them from your life. It’s not always an easy task to do, but it can take the weight off of your shoulders in order to have more meaningful relationships and less toxic ones.

In the great words of K-Camp,, “It ain’t nothing to cut that b***h off”. Happy Spring Cleaning with your relationships!

Twitter is helping to shape the conversations revolving around our favorite TV shows

Since the introduction of Twitter we have been blessed with an efficient platform for expressing our thoughts, emotions, and funny quips until our hearts are content. And quite often we come together and take in pop culture events like a family. We live tweet our praises or criticisms, observations, and sometimes how we relate to the material.

With shows like Insecure, Atlanta, and Master of None in which a romantic relationship aspect is a large part of the shows’ designs the thought of tweeting out how we relate to the material is very compelling. We choose sides like #TeamLawrence or #TeamIssa, and we rationalize the behavior and decisions of each character. Women can be found rationalizing how Issa had the right to infidelity because Lawrence wasn’t living up to his responsibilities. You can find men rationalizing Dev’s decision in Master of None to proudly, boldly break up an engaged couple.

We all have different experiences and when these shows strike a cord with us it’s hard not engage with others who relate to us or see what people who engage in the material shows as we do have to say. I find myself re-watching these shows often because of the genius of them and I personally do connect with some of the stories. I tweet about them, text my friends about who is right or wrong, and I become fully invested.

These shows also expose the psychology and insecurities many of us have. Themes like infidelity and dishonesty being acted out in the shows can mirror situations we’ve been through and cause certain traumas to resurface. We broadcast all of these emotions on Twitter and it becomes a group therapy session or a week long argument. Memorandums on relationships are being sent out constantly. Men pretending to be devoid of emotion for women are acting out through 280 characters. Women being anecdotal and applying their experiences and those of the television show to all relationships to confirm the “men ain’t shit” mantra. A lot of times these conversations can be draining and no really productivity arises out of them, but the show creators must be ecstatic.

Creating shows that are reflective to the millennial dating experience and being able to connect with the audience in such a way is phenomenal. Episodes such as Master of None’s “First Date” in which Dev is on rollercoaster of date, scenes in Atlanta where Van and Earn are fleshing out their expectations of their relationship in painful fashion, or Issa confessing to Lawrence on Insecure, these shows have all of us reexamining our past romantic escapades. And we bring these experiences to the internet, whether to just to share or to engage with others the creators of the show and show-runners have done their job of getting us invested.

Meet me at the altar... or naw?

Marriage, smarriage…what does it all mean anyway?

Sure, some of us grew up seeing our parents stick it out for decades and that’s cute or whatever. However, if you bring up the idea of marriage on social media, the responses are always interesting. There are some who still believe in the whimsicality of it, and then you have the rest of us who are a bit more realistic.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of marriage. Spending your life with someone you love is something out of a Disney movie, but you know what isn’t? Going to brush your teeth and the cap is off the toothpaste, getting your leftovers eaten, or how about somebody watching the show you BOTH were binging on without you? Those things may seem small but to some, those issues can be the stepping stones towards a divorce.

Millennials (and Generation Z-ers) are in a time where more people are accessible to them via social media, and while on social media you can also get caught up in the idea of #relationshipgoals. Hell, I even saw someone once demand that her boyfriend send her ‘good morning’ texts. Girl what? Single life, rather totally detached or just single by Uncle Sam’s standards, is becoming the preferred norm.

I grew up in two households: one with my parents who met at 16, broke up a bit, and got back together to be married for 29 years in October and then my grandparents were married for fifty years. I saw the ups and downs of marriage via two different generations and it taught me a lot about what I wanted for myself when/if the time comes.

Again, the concept is great but one thing that gets my goat is actually sharing your space with another person. Forever. Waking up to you and going to sleep with you for the rest of our lives--that’s heavy. I feel like so many people jump into marriages out of fear of losing that person (peer pressure is a bih) and not really considering that it’s a lifelong contract.

Because that’s what marriage has always been, a lifelong CONTRACT. It’s a meeting of the minds and hearts that says we’re supposed to thug this life thing out together until one of us ain’t living. In the microwave age that is the 21st century, nothing seems longer than your picture not uploading fast enough on Instagram or a funny video not loading properly on Twitter. We don’t even have the patience to wait on our food to be ready in the microwave; that’s for all my people who stop it before the bell chimes. So can you really say you’re patient enough to tolerate another person through sickness and health, richer or poorer, until death do you part?

I don’t want to discourage folks from the fairytale because I, too, believe in love and magic and Stevie Wonder ribbons in the sky. However, I want more of us to be realistic about what that kind of commitment entails. And from the looks of my fellow millennial tweets, statuses, and IG posts, we’re pretty much in agreement. Reconsider. Read some literature on the subject. But if you sure, f*ck it.

Friends... how many of us have them?

One of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing that everyone can’t come with you on our life journey, as it is only yours to trek. You start to understand that you can only carry yourself; you evolve and mature, thus outgrowing old things, people included.

Some of us are fortunate enough to have strong, tight-knit circles with years of foundation. A friendship that has weathered the tests of time is a rarity and should be cherished, especially in an era where everything comes fast and leaves even quicker. However you’ll find as you grow, so will your tastes in everything. Food tastes differently, your clothing style might change, and those people you once called your ‘besties’ aren’t really the best at anything in your life.

And it’s okay.  It’s literally in nature to part with what you can’t adapt to. It’s not your job to hold onto people who don’t fit your lifestyle, views and standards. No one gets rewarded for holding on to dead weight.

When I had my daughter, a lightbulb came on and it made me realize that so much of my life had to change. I had to get more serious, more focused, and put aside things that no longer served my highest good. In order to be the best mother, I had to be the best ME.

With that, I had to give up friendships that I had already been giving the side-eye to anyway. If you ever have to look around at your circle and see question marks instead of definitive periods, those may be some loose ends you want to cut. It’s almost like going natural from getting chemicals in your hair your whole life. You have to cut off the dead hair to fully see your natural hair’s potential.

This goes for people as well. How can you fly when you have dead weight holding onto your wings? There are a few signs to gauge what I consider dead weight.

One thing I appreciate about my friends is the ability to understand: understand that sometimes I’m not my happiest self and I may retreat for my own happiness, or that I may not be able to come out like I used to, or that we may go days and perhaps weeks or longer without speaking, but that the love is still there. Those that refuse to understand you as you are (if you’re not being harmful to others) may not be the friend for you.

Also, note who claps for you when you get good news and who rejoices in your trials. Some people are around you just to bask in your glow without bringing any light of their own to your life. I’ve had friends who accused me of trying to outdo them when I was merely being myself. Beware of those who claim you’re ‘too much’ when in truth, they feel that they aren’t enough.

With growth comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes change. As life takes its toll, just pay attention to who’s there to lift and support—much like a good brassiere. Don’t hang on to the leaves and branches that sway when a harsh wind blows. Pay attention to those who have put roots into you and the things you love. People who invest in your passions, those who don’t always ask of you but never give.

Protect your light and your magic, because the wrong people will strip you of both.

Amen? Amen.

Both Sides of the Game XLIII: Six Figga N*gga

This week on @BSOTGPod, We discuss the six figure nigga news of the week, finances in a relationship, and finishing the way we started.

Both Sides of the Game Ep XLI: You are not a catch

This week on @BSOTGPod GIles and Austin talk about Black Panther, sex tapes, and sexual partners.

Both Sides of the Game Episode XXXIX: Valentine's Day Special

Giles & Austin discuss the latest of Quincy Jones tellings and navigate the discussion of Bisexuality. They also give you the necessary tips and tricks during Valentines day for all you single brothers and sisters. Tune in

Both Sides of The Game Ep. XXXVIII: "Aus @ Night"

On this episode of BSTOG, Giles, unable to make it to the studio, gave Austin the keys to the podcast. Listen to Aus @ Night as Aus talks about Quincy Jones' 22 Girl friends. Being in a 6 Year relationship and the age ol saying "If you didn't want me at my Blade Trinity, don't take me at my Black Panther.

When cuffing season ain't for you

It’s that time of the year when people want to be bae’d up, cuddled, and have relationship goal posts on their social media for their followers to envy. With the weather being cold, it sounds like the perfect opportunity to set sights on a new bae. If you haven’t by now, there’s still a little bit time before cuffing season ends, then we roll over into spring time, swimsuit and sundress season.

This isn’t to say go rush into a new fling. Sometimes you have to realize this season is not for you, and it is perfectly fine to skip over cuffing season whether by choice or not. Don’t let your single status get you in a slump! This is a mini-guide on how to live your best life when cuffing season just ain’t for you.




Slow down on the single memes

We get it, you’re lonely and single AF. But guess what? No one really cares.

Being a Debbie Downer or continuously complaining about how you’re spending V-Day by yourself only makes others want to stay away due to you putting off negative vibes. Instead, find motivational affirmations that will brighten your mood and encourage you to think about self-love, your passions, and enjoying your life. Also, it is important to realize you do not need someone to complete you!

Plan ahead for the future

Use this time to come up with a strategic plan on how to tackle your goals. We all have to-do lists on things we want to accomplish, but it is hard to get to the finish line if we don’t have an action plan.

Take this time of singleness to draft out your short term steps to complete your long term goals. Whether you want to get your summer body ready and need to work on your nutrition, or revitalizing your LinkedIn profile to secure the bag. Personal and professional development on yourself is essential to your growth. Start a Trello board to map out your next major goal now.

Explore a New Hobby

This is a good season to get back to something you enjoy doing or exploring new activities you didn’t even know you liked. Maybe there’s a new dodgeball league starting up or you always wanted to take up pole dancing classes;now is a great time to start. You will not only take your mind off of this cuffing season, but you will be re-focusing your energy on something that you will enjoy.

Some other great hobbies to try are blogging, podcasting, learning to code, cooking, crafting and volunteering. Who knows? Your new hobby may lead you to something unexpected like a new stream of income or perhaps undiscovered skills, so just go for it!

Reconnect with Old Friends & Make New Friends

Don’t feel like you have to be alone because cuffing season is in full force. Spend some time with your friends and catch up. You could have a bowling night or a movie night; better yet, host a Drinks & Discussions night with each person bringing a plus one and have everyone write a question or topic that will go into a bowl, then you will take turns discussing each one.

If you want to make new friends, look into joining a group on There is a group for everything you can think of from gamers, non-profits, natural hair enthusiasts and more. Even if you can’t find a group, they give you the ability to create your own based on your interests.


It’s time to venture out! Yes it sounds super cute to go on a baecation, but you can enjoy traveling alone or with a group of people. There are a plethora of travel groups that embrace solo travelers to come along on trips that they have planned out. Whether you want to collect stamps on your passport and visit the Blue Lagoon in Iceland or take a road trip to the Pocono Mountains, there are so many sights to see across this globe.

Cuffing season also means there are more deals since a lot of people travel less during this time! Even if you aren’t ready for a trip too far away, treat yourself to a staycation and view your own backyard as a tourist would, you’ll be surprised what you will discover.

Don’t Settle

Last but not least, know your worth. Just because you are single, does not mean you should accept any person that comes your way. People can get vulnerable and weak due to desiring a relationship, but everyone is not right for you. There are many that prey on the weak during cuffing season, getting this person’s hopes up that it will blossom into more.

Make sure you have your standards set, don’t lose your morals, and appreciate who you are. If there’s something you don’t like about yourself, work on it and improve. Use this time to live your best life and not accept nonsense from anyone.

Enjoy the rest of cuffing season, even if you are enjoying it single.

Both Sides of the Game Ep. XXXVII: Ciara Was Right

On today's episode Austin talks about getting old and drinking tequila, we ask for assertive women to pay like they weigh, and our worst curve.

Are You Really Ready for an Open Relationship?
“Monogamy or whatever you call it. I’m starting to think it ain’t for everybody. Most of us is rushing into it anyways.”
— Wale

Some people want the picture perfect family; a husband or wife, kids, beautiful house, and a pet dog. You know, the American Dream. But not everyone wants this ideal scenario. Some people want all of their options.

A Polyamory Relationship is having the choice to be with multiple partners in an intimate way, with all partners aware of each other. Although, these types of relationships have dated back to the 1800s, there wasn’t a title for it until around the 1970s when “swinging” amongst married couples became popular.

An open relationship may come across as a pleasurable, exciting, and guilt-free time, but can you honestly handle it? Let’s see by answering three questions..



Can you share your partner or yourself with other people?

A lot of people like the idea of being intimate with multiple people. Each person can please you in a different way, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. On the physical side of things, this sparks a higher chance of catching or passing sexually transmitted diseases if everyone isn’t taking precautionary measures of using protection. It is important for all partners involved to be honest about how many people they are intimate with as well as practicing safe sex with each. This definitely involves trusting not just one partner, but all that you choose to be with at during this time period.

Sharing your partner or yourself can also enable jealousy.  One partner may outperform the other, turning the relationships into a competition that may cause tension. Even though it’s an open relationship, you may find yourself curious about what your partner is getting from someone else that you may not be able to provide.

Are you able to control your emotions?

Having the freedom to be with who you want while still having a partner seems like a great way to stay happy and stress free, but what happens when your feelings get too deeply involved in the new person you bring into your open relationship? It is easy for some people to have sex with no feelings attached, yet spending that time with someone else can trigger stronger emotions. These emotions you feel can shift your energy levels between each partner. Caring for multiple people at one time is manageable, but it doesn’t make it simple. When you are mad at one partner about something, it is important not to dump those bad vibes on the other person.

With that being said, are you capable of controlling any envy of your partner developing a strong bond or feelings of love for who he or she chooses to bring into the open relationship? If not, then it is probably best to reconsider having an open relationship.

Will you be able to balance your time between multiple partners?

Your main partner wants to go out tonight at 8:00pm to see this new movie, but your other partner, who never leaves you disappointed in bed, also wants to spend time with you at 9:00pm. Which partner gets your time?



Sure you can have one reschedule, but now it looks like you value one more than the other. There are ways to make each partner feel equally important to you, or you can make your own rules as to how each person is prioritized. Depending on the type of open relationship you’re in, you could also be the one getting pushed to the end of the list in terms of quality time. Are you ready to deal with the added drama this may cause?

So, do you Gotta Have It all or are you fine with just one partner? It’s ultimately up to you and your partner to make this decision. If anything at all doesn’t sit well with either of you, you are most likely not ready. Don’t be afraid to venture into the polyamory world, but wrap it up, keep an open mind, and enjoy it, if you’re really ready.

They say you can’t have cake and eat it too, but ain’t that what you s’posed to do?
— Trey Songz
'Paverbs': Tales of the city

This is one a lot of people won't feel but I'm going to try to help you understand. When you living that life, especially in Hollywood, you meet so many people.

Think about it... let's say you go out four days a week. In those four days you might meet a group of women from out of the country, another group of women from out of town, a couple college girls as well as some girls who don't come out much but probably got drug out by their friends tonight.

The girls that you meet from out of town probably just want to party, so if they're in town for four days you might end up spending four straight nights with that group of girls. But they cycle out at the end of the week & a new roster comes in & it's the same thing rotated over & over again.

Also, people just fall off the map sometimes. People get girlfriends/boyfriends or maybe the occasional job or some people just end up moving back home because the city got too crazy. Everything is so fast so in three months the whole landscape of everything might have changed. The doormen at spots might be different, your favorite bartender might be gone... anything is possible. So a Hollywood 3 months is like a normal person's year because things switch over so fast when you are living at that speed. Everything & everyone, for the most part, is temporary.

Again, a Hollywood 3 months is like a normal year, so when you break that down 48 hours is like a week & half. If you meet a girl & she's living that life in a 48 hour span she probably meets about 10-20 guys & that's on a light week.

So from the time you take that IG or number down you are on the clock. I call it the "First 48". By noon of the next day if you haven't reached out to engage in some kind of conversation with her you're already losing. Also, you have to take into account that when you met her she was probably some type of intoxicated so she might not even remember that she met you in 48 hours.

You can play it how you want to play it but here's my advice: hit her up around Noon-2pm & tell her how nice it was to meet her & ask what she's getting into that night. See where she's going, make plans to pop up there, grab a drink, have a quick convo, keep it cool & then make plans for drinks for the following week.

Again, the first 48 hours is pivotal. How you play it will determine if you just see her around or if she's showing up with you.

First off, let's dive into who Tom Thibodeau is. He's the former coach of the Bulls during the D. Rose era & currently the coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves. He also should probably be in a jail for manslaugter for what he did to Luol Deng, Joakim Noah & D. Rose's knees but that's neither here no there. One thing he doesn't believe in is playing rookies. He values experience over potential in most situations.

Take that logic & apply it to women who just moved to the city. You can't date them, don't do it. They need to go through some stuff first before you can lock them down if that's your plan. LA is a crazy place: no matter where in America you come from there's nothing like it, especially for an attractive woman.

The allure is crazy & there's a 99% chance she's going to get some kind of caught up in it & she needs to. She needs to understand how the city works & get everything out of her system before you even attempt to put that type of life in front of her. Also the city has a way of making you the struggle version of yourself, especially if you have any type of self esteem issues which you don't need to be around for. Let her make her mistakes & go through what she has to go through & if it's real like that, ya'll will link up again when she's more settled in & has a little bit better understand of how the city works.

There's so much more that goes into a successful relationship besides having things in common with a person. When I was younger I thought similar interests were the end-all be-all but usually it isn't.

In most situations a person too much like you is actually a toxic situation. You don't need to date yourself; you need somebody to offset you & your faults & you need to be able to do the same with somebody else. Similar interests are cool but I'd rather have somebody around who forces me to be uncomfortable & puts me in those situations because that's how growth happens.

I think this tweet is pretty self-explanatory but I'll give you the story behind it.

Me & Scott were at this event & happened to meet these two women through one of my homies who were absolutely BEAUTIFUL. When they walked through the door I instantly knew they modeled & you know how much I love models. Usually I'm never bashful about shooting my shot but this time I backed off & kept it cool. Honestly, they looked like they were a little outside of my tax bracket at the moment.

Fast forward to the next day, one of my other homies calls me to recap the night. We get to talking about some of the girls who were there, then he mentioned them & then said they were going to come to the Doheny Room with us after, but she found somewhere to stay for the night....she's homeless.

There are so many stories like this around the city. So many women that you would never imagine would be living this way are living this way. The city is a crazy place. 

Four ways to sustain your platonic friendships while dating
Fox Searchlight Pictures

Fox Searchlight Pictures

There has always been the debate that women and men cannot strictly be “just friends” without there being sexual desires. Platonic friendships come under even greater scrutiny when you’re in a committed relationship. Your significant other may feel jealous or insecure, or insinuate that there’s more to this situation than just camaraderie. It can be healthy to have a friend of the opposite sex to share perspective on how your actions may be affecting your mate or to get the point of view from the other gender.

The question is, how do you make sure your friendship remains strong as well as your relationship? Here are four ways to sustain both:


Inform your significant other that you have friends of the opposite sex so that it doesn’t come off as a surprise. Communication is key, and when you’re able to have conversations about the people in your life that matter, you don’t have to neglect your platonic friend that was there before your relationship. Keeping it in the dark can come off as sneaky and spark insecurities.

Introduce Them

It can be uneasy meeting any friend of a significant other, but it can also be a new friendship in the making. Introducing your platonic friend to your boyfriend or girlfriend can alleviate some of the doubts and questions that may have existed.

Throw a game night or plan a brunch where your friends and your significant other will be able to mingle. You can casually introduce them to each other in a welcoming environment full of laughter, conversations, and chill vibes. Setting the right atmosphere helps put everyone at ease.

Balance Your Time

Before your relationship, maybe you hung out with your platonic friend a lot, grabbing a bite to eat or hitting different events together. There has to be respect for your relationship. By no means should you abandon your friends, but recognize that your quality time has to be re-prioritized.

For example, your significant other may want to go to a basketball game together, but your platonic friend also invited you out the same night to go to a movie. A decision will be have to made, do you go out with your significant other or your platonic friend? The choice is yours, but going out with your platonic friend may leave your significant other feeling that you value that friendship more than your own relationship, or that there is something more going on. Sometimes you will have to tell your platonic friend no, and that is okay. Whether it be talking on the phone every once in a while, hosting a potluck or kickback, going to happy hour, volunteering, or any number of other activities, there are plenty of ways to maintain friendships without interfering with your relationship.

Set Boundaries



Boundaries! Yes, you must set boundaries when it comes to platonic friendships. Although you may have no attractiveness towards your friend of the opposite sex, that doesn’t mean that they feel the same way about you.

There may be activities that can be deemed inappropriate to do with your platonic friend. These should be determined by having a conversation with your significant other on do’s and don’ts, regarding your friends to make sure that lines are not being crossed when spending time with them. Some boundaries you may want to set with your platonic friend are: no flirting, no physical touching, no sexual innuendos, a general best practice of not doing anything in private that you would not be able to do in public or in front of your significant other. If this friend can't abide by these boundaries, then are they really a platonic friend? Think about it.

These methods should make it a little easier to sustain both your relationships and platonic friendships. Remember that the most important part to maintaining a healthy balance is using your best judgment. If you have any other tips, please share them in the comments below.