2018 NFL Mock Draft

 *Sigh* Our last wave of NFL madness is unfortunately approaching. After the NFL Draft, the only excitement will be Mini Camp highlights. And who gives a fuck about that?

The Draft airs Thursday Night and everyone is curious to see who goes where. This should definitely be one of the more memorable or infamous drafts being that there are 5 potential Franchise Quarterbacks (Or Bust) in the mix.

Before we get into the details, Here’s five VERY bold predictions for this year’s draft.

Three Receivers will go in the first roundand have Trash careers

Who knows what the fuck These GM’s think about in the war room, but it seems like every year niggas jump out the window for mediocre Wide Receivers.

The Packers and Patriots find their Successors

Shit is gonna get real awkward at Lambeau and Gillette Stadium. and Metlife. The two best QB’s in the NFL find themselves in awkward situations when their organization bring in New faces to eventually replace them. Niggas can’t play forever. This is a young man’s game

The Bears add another future Hall of Fame linebacker

The writing is on the Wall. The Best linebacker in College Football will be on the board at 8. We’re about 10 years Overdue for a new Monster of the Midway. The time has come

Only 1 of the 5 elite prospect Quarterbacks will have a highly decorated career

Let’s face the Truth: Good quarterbacks are Rare. Very rare. No way in hell All 5 of these Top tier QB’s will be successful in the NFL. There will be one true star in this draft....or none at All

The Browns Blow it...again

This isn’t necessarily a bold statement, because it’s almost factual. The Browns suck at drafting Quarterbacks. I feel sorry for whoever is picked by the browns. He’s bound to bust regardless of how great of a player he may be. I think them niggas cursed.

Anything can happen in this year’s draft, But If I would guess, These would be the players selected in the first round:

 Matthew Stockman, Getty Images

Matthew Stockman, Getty Images

1. Browns: Sam Darnold (Quarterback, USC)

He’s been a beast for 3 straight years, he fits the complete stereotypical bill of an NFL QB. If you’re gonna gamble, go with consistency

2. Giants: Saquan Barkley (Running back, Penn State)

In Eli we trust! The Giants skip over their future and focus on the present by adding the most electrifying player of the draft. Do you understand how deadly the NYG offense is going to be by adding Barkley?.

3. Jets: Bradley Chubb (Defensive End, NC State)

Surprise mothafucka! ....well, not really.

The Jets love defense. Like, a lot. I can’t picture them passing up on the best pass rusher in the draft after losing two elite Linemen recently. They brought back McCown and signed Teddy Bridgewater. Taking a QB here would be smart, but come on, it’s the jets we’re talking about

4. Browns: Quentin Nelson (Guard, Notre Dame)

This pick just makes sense here. As a Bears fan I’m going to be real butt hurt over this shit, but it’s gonna happen. Joe Thomas just retired, they need a new insurance policy for their new QB.

 AP

AP

5. Broncos: Josh Rosen (Quarterback, UCLA)

The Jay Cutler of the draft! No real Logic here. That nigga just has the “everything sucks” bratty ass face of a Broncos QB. I’m sure they’re gonna take him here at 5…and he’ll probably be a bust…

6. Colts: Derwin James (Safety, Florida State)

I’m sure they have their eyes on Quentin Nelson, but they will end up with (arguably) the best defender in the draft. And the colts defense sucks ass. Why not pair him with Malik Hooker?

7. Buccaneers: Minkah Fitzpatrick (Defensive Back, Alabama)

The Bucs just miss out on adding Derwin James, but they get a more Versatile Defensive Back in Fitzpatrick. From Nickel corner to Strong safety, Fitzpatrick does all that shit.

 Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

8. Bears: Roquan Smith (Linebacker, Georgia)

I would love for the Bears to snag an OL here but only Nelson is worth such a high pick. The Bears are historically a linebacker organization. Restore the Monsters of the Midway by adding the best linebacker in college football.

9. 49ers: Calvin Ridley (Wide Receiver, Alabama)

I personally don’t think a receiver who doesn’t have the name “Julio Jones” or “Calvin Johnson” should go this high, but the hype train makes this kid a Top 10 pick. Jimmy G needs new toys, give him the best WR in CFB

10. Raiders: Tremaine Edmonds (Linebacker, Virginia Tech)

John Gruden will have a Field day with this Perfect Prototype. if his play transitions well in the NFL, This is gonna be an ugly combination of two of the most versatile linebackers in football.

11. Dolphins: Vita Vea (Defensive Tackle, Washington)

No he isn’t Ndamukong Suh, but this big bastard definitely has the ability to be a prime time run stuffer in the NFL

12. Bills: Josh Allen (Quarterback, Wyoming)

Don’t get me wrong, I love AJ McCarron signing with the Bills. He gets to do what he does best: Game manage.....but He isn’t the answer. He’s a Martyr for the future: which is Josh Allen. I think he’s going to be the most successful QB of this draft.

13. Redskins: Denzel Ward (Cornerback, Ohio State)

The Redskins will snag the top Corner in the draft, in hopes of making the next great Cornerback Duo with Josh Norman.

 Jeff Gross/Getty Images

Jeff Gross/Getty Images

14. Packers: Baker Mayfield (Quarterback, Oklahoma)

What? You don’t think they’ll pull it? I do...

How do you think Rodgers got to the Packers? He was drafted when Favre was a 36 year old starter. Football Jesus is turns 35 this year. Time to mold your next franchise QB. Plus, you put the humble pants on that nigga Mayfield by putting him behind the one of the Best QB in the NFL.

15. Cardinals: Josh Jackson (Cornerback, Iowa)

Elite cornerback tandems are the new “must haves” of the NFL, pairing Up Josh Jackson With Patrick Peterson is the Smart thing to do here

16. Ravens, DJ Moore (Wide Receiver, Maryland)

The Ravens doesn’t have ANY receivers. If they don’t address this issue early, they will find themselves in a bind. I don’t agree with getting him this early, but Mike Mayock has him as the #1 receiver in this draft. Most of the time he knows what the fuck he’s talking about

17. Chargers: Mike McGlinchey (Tackle, Notre Dame)

Defensively the Chargers are pretty solid. Time to invest in the offense. take the top Tackle in the draft and patch up that suspect offensive line.

18. Seahawks: Jaire Alexander (Cornerback, Louisville)

The Seahawks offensive line REALLY needs some work, but that defense is SUPER SUSPECT as of recently. No Richard Sherman, No Michael Bennett, questionable KamChallencor, The Legion of Whom? Restore the name by replacing Richard Sherman with an elite First round corner

19. Cowboys: Will Hernandez (Guard, UTEP)

The Cowboys are dicks and the hype train is moving fast for Hernandez. They’re going to cash out on an attempt make their offensive line the best in history. Don’t get me wrong, he comes off as a potential beast, but Adding him to an already ridiculous offensive line makes him better than he actually is.

20. Lions: Isaiah Wynn (Guard, Georgia)

Safe pick here. The Lions are going to bulk up the line as they prepare to get a running back in the 2nd round.

21. Bengals: Da’Ron Payne (Defensive tackle, Alabama)

This should be an easy pick for the Bills. A Violent top tier defensive tackle. This dude probably has the best hands of any defensive linemen in this draft. He has the versatility to play every position on the defensive line. If the Bengals go to a 3-4 defense, he can transition well.

22. Bills: Kolton Miller (Tackle, UCLA)

Bulk up your O-Line to protect your first round QB investment. Miller is a tall athletic natural left tackle. Orlando Brown would be a better pick here, but he fucked his reputation up at the combine with that subpar Performance.

 Bobby Ellis/Getty Images

Bobby Ellis/Getty Images

23. Patriots: Lamar Jackson (Quarterback, Louisville)

This is a bold prediction but fuck it! No one knows what kind of shit goes on under the hood of Bill Belichick. Bill keeps his Dynasty alive with this new age QB. This would be a scary pick for the Patriots.

24. Panthers: Cortland Sutton (Wide Receiver, SMU)

The Panthers love big WR’s and Sutton is exactly that. Pairing him with Devin Funchess could be an interesting duo.

25. Titans: Leighton Vander Esch (Linebacker, Boise State)

Mike Vrabel is the new head coach, so best believe that he is stacking the defense with a notable linebacker. Plus, he got a weird ass name, and niggas with weird ass names can ball

26. Falcons: Marcus Davenport (Defensive End, UTSA)

The Falcons released Adrian Claybourn this offseason, so they need to find a successor at defensive end, Davenport fits the bill.

27. Saints: Mike Geisecki (Tight End, Penn State)

....Jimmy Graham 2.0? Sean Payton’s thirsty ass is definitely gonna snatch this nigga off the board at 27

28. Steelers: Derrius Guice (Running back, LSU)

“ Run it again” - Mike Tomlin

The Steelers will run that bitch 40 times a game if they could, so RB’s have high value here. these franchise tags won’t keep going for Le’Veon Bell. Fam is a beast but running back shelf life is short lived. Draft a hungry hard runner in Guice.

29. Jaguars: Rahsaan Evans (Linebacker, Alabama)

The way for the Jags to continue their success is to Keep making that defense great. Paul Posluszny’s retirement leaves a big hole in the middle. Myles Jack and Telvin Smith are naturally outside linebackers. Let Evans Sit in the middle and do what he does best.

30. Vikings: Orlando Brown (Tackle, Oklahoma)

Despite the shitty combine performance, the Vikings snatch the top tackle in College Football to protect their 84 Million dollar Quarterback. Brown didn’t allow one sack last year, Ball don’t lie.

31. Patriots: Harold Landry (Defensive end, Boston College)

hard to see him falling this low in the draft, but his size makes him a “tweener” at defensive end. If he does fall this low, Bill definitely won’t pass on him. I can imagine him playing multiple spots in the Patriot’s weird ass defense.

32. Eagles: Connor Williams (Tackle, Texas)

Your Franchise QB is coming off a serious Knee injury. Protect that man!