Meet me at the altar... or naw?

Marriage, smarriage…what does it all mean anyway?

Sure, some of us grew up seeing our parents stick it out for decades and that’s cute or whatever. However, if you bring up the idea of marriage on social media, the responses are always interesting. There are some who still believe in the whimsicality of it, and then you have the rest of us who are a bit more realistic.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of marriage. Spending your life with someone you love is something out of a Disney movie, but you know what isn’t? Going to brush your teeth and the cap is off the toothpaste, getting your leftovers eaten, or how about somebody watching the show you BOTH were binging on without you? Those things may seem small but to some, those issues can be the stepping stones towards a divorce.

Millennials (and Generation Z-ers) are in a time where more people are accessible to them via social media, and while on social media you can also get caught up in the idea of #relationshipgoals. Hell, I even saw someone once demand that her boyfriend send her ‘good morning’ texts. Girl what? Single life, rather totally detached or just single by Uncle Sam’s standards, is becoming the preferred norm.

I grew up in two households: one with my parents who met at 16, broke up a bit, and got back together to be married for 29 years in October and then my grandparents were married for fifty years. I saw the ups and downs of marriage via two different generations and it taught me a lot about what I wanted for myself when/if the time comes.

Again, the concept is great but one thing that gets my goat is actually sharing your space with another person. Forever. Waking up to you and going to sleep with you for the rest of our lives--that’s heavy. I feel like so many people jump into marriages out of fear of losing that person (peer pressure is a bih) and not really considering that it’s a lifelong contract.

Because that’s what marriage has always been, a lifelong CONTRACT. It’s a meeting of the minds and hearts that says we’re supposed to thug this life thing out together until one of us ain’t living. In the microwave age that is the 21st century, nothing seems longer than your picture not uploading fast enough on Instagram or a funny video not loading properly on Twitter. We don’t even have the patience to wait on our food to be ready in the microwave; that’s for all my people who stop it before the bell chimes. So can you really say you’re patient enough to tolerate another person through sickness and health, richer or poorer, until death do you part?

I don’t want to discourage folks from the fairytale because I, too, believe in love and magic and Stevie Wonder ribbons in the sky. However, I want more of us to be realistic about what that kind of commitment entails. And from the looks of my fellow millennial tweets, statuses, and IG posts, we’re pretty much in agreement. Reconsider. Read some literature on the subject. But if you sure, f*ck it.