Are You Really Ready for an Open Relationship?

“Monogamy or whatever you call it. I’m starting to think it ain’t for everybody. Most of us is rushing into it anyways.”
— Wale

Some people want the picture perfect family; a husband or wife, kids, beautiful house, and a pet dog. You know, the American Dream. But not everyone wants this ideal scenario. Some people want all of their options.

A Polyamory Relationship is having the choice to be with multiple partners in an intimate way, with all partners aware of each other. Although, these types of relationships have dated back to the 1800s, there wasn’t a title for it until around the 1970s when “swinging” amongst married couples became popular.

An open relationship may come across as a pleasurable, exciting, and guilt-free time, but can you honestly handle it? Let’s see by answering three questions..

 Netflix

Netflix

Can you share your partner or yourself with other people?

A lot of people like the idea of being intimate with multiple people. Each person can please you in a different way, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. On the physical side of things, this sparks a higher chance of catching or passing sexually transmitted diseases if everyone isn’t taking precautionary measures of using protection. It is important for all partners involved to be honest about how many people they are intimate with as well as practicing safe sex with each. This definitely involves trusting not just one partner, but all that you choose to be with at during this time period.

Sharing your partner or yourself can also enable jealousy.  One partner may outperform the other, turning the relationships into a competition that may cause tension. Even though it’s an open relationship, you may find yourself curious about what your partner is getting from someone else that you may not be able to provide.

Are you able to control your emotions?

Having the freedom to be with who you want while still having a partner seems like a great way to stay happy and stress free, but what happens when your feelings get too deeply involved in the new person you bring into your open relationship? It is easy for some people to have sex with no feelings attached, yet spending that time with someone else can trigger stronger emotions. These emotions you feel can shift your energy levels between each partner. Caring for multiple people at one time is manageable, but it doesn’t make it simple. When you are mad at one partner about something, it is important not to dump those bad vibes on the other person.

With that being said, are you capable of controlling any envy of your partner developing a strong bond or feelings of love for who he or she chooses to bring into the open relationship? If not, then it is probably best to reconsider having an open relationship.

Will you be able to balance your time between multiple partners?

Your main partner wants to go out tonight at 8:00pm to see this new movie, but your other partner, who never leaves you disappointed in bed, also wants to spend time with you at 9:00pm. Which partner gets your time?

 HBO

HBO

Sure you can have one reschedule, but now it looks like you value one more than the other. There are ways to make each partner feel equally important to you, or you can make your own rules as to how each person is prioritized. Depending on the type of open relationship you’re in, you could also be the one getting pushed to the end of the list in terms of quality time. Are you ready to deal with the added drama this may cause?

So, do you Gotta Have It all or are you fine with just one partner? It’s ultimately up to you and your partner to make this decision. If anything at all doesn’t sit well with either of you, you are most likely not ready. Don’t be afraid to venture into the polyamory world, but wrap it up, keep an open mind, and enjoy it, if you’re really ready.

They say you can’t have cake and eat it too, but ain’t that what you s’posed to do?
— Trey Songz